- Not knowing the extent of your assets and debts. While one party may pay the family bills, it is amazing how often they leave the rest of the financial planning to their spouse.
Many people have no idea where their spouse’s paychecks have been going; what the approximate value of their assets is; or even what specific assets they own. It is always advisable to know the
nature and extent of your assets and debts—the adage “what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine” applies to both!
- Failing to consider the value of retirement assets in divorce. This mistake is, in some senses, an extension of the first mistake. But it bears special mention because many women
will tell us that their husband’s pension is not worth much because it’s “only $1,000 per month.” While $1,000 per month may be insufficient to retire on, in twenty years that pension will have
grown. Additionally, the present value of a pension can be enormous (think hundreds of thousands of dollars), even if the future monthly payment is small.
- Failing to insure settlement assets and payments. If you receive maintenance, a continuing property settlement (including a retirement plan), or child support payments, ask that
your spouse maintain life insurance in the amount owed. Otherwise, these payments will cease upon the death of your spouse. Another option is for you to purchase your own life insurance on your
future ex-spouse, to ensure that you are protected in the event he or she dies and these payments cease.
- Titling separate property in both parties’ names. If you want to keep a pre-marital or inherited asset separate, keep the title in your name alone, and do not use marital funds
to maintain the asset or commingle marital funds with separate funds. With real property and other titled assets, if you title the property in your spouse’s name, half of the asset will be considered
a gift to your spouse.
- Not keeping meticulous records of child support payments. You MUST keep proof of each and every child support payment you make, whether it be a receipt, a copy of the check, or a
copy of the money order. If you do not keep records of all of your child support payments, until long after your child turns nineteen, you may have to pay your child support twice, because it is the
payor’s responsibility to prove his or her payments. We recommend that you make your payments into the Family Support Registry, so that they can keep track of the child support payments for you.
- Not insisting on filing a modification with the Court. After your divorce is final, if you make any additional agreements as to parenting time or child support, you must file the
agreement with the Court. Any oral agreement as to child support, or even a written agreement signed by both parents, will not necessarily be upheld later—the later agreement is not a Court Order,
and will not necessarily supersede the prior Court Order. It is inexpensive and easy for you to file your documents with the Court.
- Not realizing the possible benefits of paying alimony (now known as maintenance). Most people hear the word “alimony,” and cringe. The concept of continuing to give their spouse
money after the divorce is final is so unattractive that they will avoid it at all costs. However, paying maintenance instead of child support or to decrease a property award can be financially
beneficial to the payor. Maintenance is tax-deductible to the payor, and tax-inclusive to the recipient. Increased maintenance payments will lead to decreased child support payments—child support is
not tax-deductible to the payor.
- Sweating the “small stuff.” If you have attorneys, it is usually not cost-effective for your attorneys to argue over “smaller” items such as a CD collection, kitchen items, or
holiday decorations. But people tend to have emotional attachments to these items, and we will often see an agreement start to unravel when parties discuss who will receive Aunt Bee’s sewing machine
or Grandpa Gus’s rifle. There are many ways to handle the division of smaller household goods. For example, you can ask your attorney to hold an “auction” in which each item is given to the highest
bidder. Or, you can divide property using an “alternate pick” arrangement, in which each of you takes a turn selecting a personal property item.
- Listening to your friends. If you talk to enough people, you will learn that everybody pays a different amount for child support, everybody receives (or pays) a different amount
of alimony (now known as maintenance), and everybody got more (or less) parenting time than you received. The fact is that child support is calculated based on a formula devised by the Colorado
legislature, and the amount depends on the income of each party, maintenance paid, daycare costs, etc. It is highly case-specific! With maintenance, we have attended workshops in which five judges
are given the same set of hypothetical facts and asked to award maintenance. No two judges ever award the same (or even similar) amounts of maintenance! Additionally, maintenance is intertwined with
property awards, educational levels, years out of the work force, length of the marriage, etc.
- Sticking too long with an attorney you cannot talk to, or are not comfortable with. If you are not obtaining reasonable and understandable advice from your attorney, find a new
attorney sooner, rather than later. If you change attorneys late in the case, it will be expensive, and may even be impossible if the judge refuses your request. So, if you are not getting clear
explanations from your attorney, or if he or she is not responding to your calls or not following your directions, sit down and talk to him or her! Remember, your attorney works for you. When
choosing an attorney, interview several, remembering that you and your attorney will be spending a great deal of time together during an extremely intimate and exhausting process. It will be worth
the consultation fees to get an attorney you like.
- Settling your case for unfavorable terms “just to get it over with.” The process of dissolving your marriage can be an extremely stressful and unpleasant experience. Your spouse
may drag the process out long past the time you thought it should settle, and you may be tempted to sign papers just to be able to put the process (and your spouse) behind you. If this is the only
reason you are signing the papers, think twice! Your settlement will last forever. You may later regret it if you give up the lion’s share of your property, or valuable parenting time with your
children, just to be done.
- Failing to be very specific with parenting time. After your divorce is final, your relationship with your future ex-spouse will change. Sometimes the relationship changes for the
better, sometimes it changes for the worse. The more specific you can be with the start and end times for your children’s parenting time, vacation times, holiday times, etc., the easier the process
will be on your children because they will have some routine when the rest of their routines have been interrupted.
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